7 Step Process of Self-Forgiveness

1. Admit to yourself that you were wrong or you made a mistake.

2. Write about the consequences of your behavior. Who did you hurt and in what ways?

3. Take responsibility for your actions, regardless of what led you to them.

4. Confess your mistake or wrongdoing to your Creator, yourself, and another person or group of people (a therapist, or a spiritual leader).

5. Ask God for help.

6. Make amends for your actions by apologizing to the person you hurt and making restitution to the person you hurt in the best way possible (offer to pay for his or her therapy, pay back the debt, etc.). 

7. Look for the lesson. Learn from your mistake so that you do not repeat it. Seek psychological or spiritual help if needed so that you do not repeat the same mistake. 

adapted from Engel, B. (2001). The power of apology: Healing steps to transform all your relationships. New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.